The author of this letter and I have only known each other two years. I must say we connected right off. I love her wit, strength, dignity and inner beauty. I think this letter doesn't just speak to a young lady but also reaches the rest of us. Thank you for the beautiful words my dear friend.
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Dear Young Lady a Month before College Graduation,
It is a month before your college graduation, and I am sure that you are filled with a mixture of anticipation and anxiousness. You have worked diligently in order to arrive at this momentous occasion. I know that you have a few more papers to compose and exams that need more preparation. As you contemplate future employment paths that will require your undivided attention over the next few months, I invite you to consider the next steps in your journey into adulthood. The exam of your 20s might be the most rigorous exam to date.
Counter Culture: Our culture lies to us as women in so many ways. Guard your heart against how media describes women should look, feel and behave. Who you are on the inside far exceeds your external physical appearance. Counter culture by becoming a woman of character, influence, wisdom and strength.
Cultivate Contentment: Soon you might be making more money than you have ever earned in your life. It is amazing how quickly this income can cause us to desire more. Learn to cultivate quiet contentment for what you have and do not let debt become your enemy. Take a financial management class so that you can learn the principles of budgeting, saving, investing and purchasing. Cultivate contentment so that you will develop a heart filled gratitude.
Commit to Community: In the next years and decade of your life, you will need community. Your 20s can be a time of frivolous play or deep investment in yourself. The people you surround yourself will probably become more important than your career. Seek out older women who can provide mentoring and wisdom because they have gone before you. Commit to community and surround yourself with people who will mold, equip and invest in you as a woman.
Count the Cost: Every choice that you make will have a consequence in some manner whether positive or negative in nature. After college, I accepted a position as an educator in public school where I found people who invested in me professionally. My parents proudly touted to their friends how I was successfully living and supporting myself, but they neglected to mention how they dissuaded me from pursuing my deep longing to teach at a private school in Europe. Half-way through my career as an educator, I still internally wrestle with this career decision which is probably the reason I lack complete contentment in where I am today. Count the cost of the decisions you make today because they will impact your life tomorrow.
Confront Comparisons: You are an excellent woman! Your strengths set you apart from others so draw on those assets. Resist the temptation to compare yourself to others. As women, I think that we compare ourselves to other women more than we care to admit. There will be areas were you exceed more than other woman and areas where other women exceed more than you. Celebrate your strengths and strengthen your weaknesses. Comparison only breeds discontentment and insecurity.
Create Commitment: Instead of finding the right person in your 20s, decide to become the right person. Nothing annoyed me more than when people either tried to set me up with their “friend” or told me that I needed to stop looking and then I would “find” him. I wish I had invested more in becoming the right person instead of wishing he would find me. Who you will marry will become the most important decision of your life, so choose well. Commit to developing yourself today before commitment stands before you.
Contemplate Connections: Your family of origin has a much larger effect on you than you might realize right now. I realize this the older I grow because I see how my patterns of thinking is often rooted in my family of origin. Take time to contemplate how your family of origin has molded you into the woman you are today whether positively or negatively. Consider your patterns of thinking and worldview in light of your faith, family of origin and culture in order to determine if you are living a physically, emotionally, and mentally healthy lifestyle.
Claim Christ: Your faith will become your anchor as you journey through the next years and decades of your life. Highs and lows, bends and curves will follow but the Anchor to your soul will be your true north. I have seen what it is to be in need and to have plenty, and He has been my faithful Lord. I have rejoiced with him as he has satisfied the desires of my heart, but I have also sat with him in tears while he has wrapped his unseen arms around my soul. Just as a loving father should do, he has gently guided me as I have wandered off and placed me back on course. He has sat beside me in the boat while the storms of life have crashed around me, but I have not feared because he was with me. Sometimes he does not calm the storm but he calms me in the storm. Just know that your relationship with Him exists into eternality.
With grace and peace,
One Who Has Gone Before You
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